Breast Cancer Fic Ever
by 657
Summary: In Ms. Keane's class, Blossom gives a report on Breast Cancer Awareness, and Butch being Butch...makes fun of it. Based on the SouthPark Episode Breast Cancer Show Ever and the long awaited sequel to Mitch Mitchelson Must Die.


It was an ordinary day in Ms. Keane's Kindergarten class. The teacher herself spoke'

"OK children let's all take our seats!"

The students who were up and about immediately sat down as Ms. Keane continued to speak;

"Before we get started today, Blossom Utonium would like to share something with the class. Blossom would you please come up here?"

The pink Powerpuff walked towards the blackboard and faced the class as she cleared her throat and began reading from an Essay she had in her hand.

"Fellow students; October is awareness month for one of the leading causes of death in women. A terrible disease that takes the lives of American women every day! I'm talking of course, about Breast Cancer."

The class was silent…until Butch snorted as he started snickering. Blossom blinked before continuing to read.

"An estimated 1 in 6 women will deal with cancer in their lifetime, and Breast Cancer is -

Butch interrupted with his laughter as he spoke

"HAHAHA She said it again. Hahahahaha!"

Blossom immediately scowled at him as she spoke outraged

"Is there a problem? Because Breast Cancer isn't funny! Breast cancer is killing people!"

Butch held back a smirk as he spoke

"Ms. Keane do we really need all this potty talk in the classroom?"

Ms. Keane simply groaned out

"Butch for the love of Jesus!"

Blossom then spoke out

"This is a serious issue Butch. What you are doing is very offensive!"

Butch immediately stood up in his seat as he spoke

"Me? You're the one talking about "Killer Titties"!"

Buttercup immediately snorted as she started silently laughing. Butch, seeing her reaction, spoke aloud

"Watch out guys, Blossom says boobs can kill people!"

Butch then put his hands up to his chest as he spoke;

"Rawr, gonna get you. Gonna get you Blossom!"

Mike then spoke aloud in a panicked tone;

"I don't wanna be killed by boobs"

Blossom then spoke to Ms. Keane;

"Will somebody please do something? Every week he gets worse and nobody does anything!"

Ms. Keane then spoke out annoyed;

"Butch, stop being offensive!"

Butch then took on a defensive position as he spoke his argument.

"I'm just trying to engage Blossom in a constructive dialog about Breast Cancer Awareness Ms. Keane!"

Blossoms face then went red from rage as she spoke out angrily.

"NO YOU AREN'T!"

Butch then smirked as he spoke in a snarky tone

"Blossom, you need to calm down! You're gonna get your boobs all angry and they're gonna start killing everyone!"

The whole class then started laughing. Butch grinned as he spoke through the laughter of the other children

"Whoa dude, I'm on fire today!"

_/LATER/_

Blossom was tacking up a poster that spoke about breast cancer when Butch walked up behind her with a smirk on his face as he spoke aloud to get the attention of the other students;

"Look out you guys, there is some killer titties on the loose! I could have sworn I heard em coming through the roof!"

Butch grinned as he put his hand up to his shoulder as he imitated he was talking through a radio.

"Psst, officer, we need an APB out on those titties! They're armed and dangerous!"

Blossom stormed up towards Butch as she spoke in an annoyed tone;

"What is your problem? Breast Cancer isn't funny!"

Butch smiled sincerely as he spoke;

"Not at all!"

Butch then put his hands up to his chest as he imitated a pair of breasts again;

"Blossom! We're gonna get you Blossom! We're your boobs and we're gonna kill you!"

Blossom scowled as she spoke

"You'd better shut up, OR I'll make you shut up!"

Butch scoffed as he spoke

"Oh really, what are ya gonna do about it pinky?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass! That's what I'm gonna do!"

"HAHA, Oh really! Your gonna kick _MY _Ass?"

"That's Right! I'm gonna kick_ YOUR _ASS!"

Butch immediately smirked as he spoke

"You wanna throw down Dog? I'll throw down!"

Blossom scoffed as she spoke

"You think you're tough?"

Butch smirked as he started crossing his arms after every word he spoke;

"Watsup? Watsup?"

Blossom snarled as she spoke

"I'll smack the shit out of you!"

Butch got a smirk on his face as he spoke

"I'm standing right here. Let's go bitch!"

Blossom spoke with venom clear in her tone

"After school! We fight after school! You got that?"

Butch grinned

"Wait you're gonna fight me after school?"

Blossom glared at him, her mind set.

"That's right!"

Butch started laughing as he spoke through it somehow

"You're a chick dude!"

Blossom growled as she spoke

"As soon as that bell rings, were gonna do it outside! Ya got that? And you'd better be there!"

Butch smirked viciously

"Oh it is _ON BITCH!"_

Blossom then spoke enraged

"YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!"

With that, she stomped away! Mike, who was watching the whole confrontation ran out screaming

"BLOSSOM AND BUTCH ARE GONNA FIGHT AFTER SCHOOL!"

The children then spread this around the school; the minute 2 familiar boys heard this. One spoke

"Sweet Jesus what did he do now?" Brick wondered annoyed.

Boomer shrugged and both of them flew back inside to begin lunch.

As the children were eating Lunch, all the boys crowded around Butch as they started speaking,

"I can't believe Blossom's gonna fight you after school!" Elmer Saglue said excited.

Mike scoffed as he spoke

"Dude she is pissed off!"

Butch grinned as he responded to his friend;

"She's not gonna show up to a fight dog! I'm sure she's already trying to find a way to get out of it!"

Elmer started tapping Butch on the shoulder to get the green Rowdyruffs attention. Elmer spoke;

"Hey check it out! She's totally staring you down!"

True to the statement, Blossom was glaring at Butch from another table. All the guys were watching Blossom's reaction and they saw the pure rage in her eyes. One thing was certain, she definitely did NOT want out of this fight! Butch got a little nervous when he saw Blossom's hate filled glance. He actually heard rumors that when Blossom is enraged, she's more dangerous than Buttercup. Elmer spoke again;

"She sure seems confidant. You should probably go easy on her dude!. You don't want to put her in the hospital or anything!"

Butch scoffed nervously as he spoke

"Yeah I'm just gonna teach her a lesson. I'm not gonna totally kick her ass or anything!"

He may have said that, but he was still looking at Blossom, whose glare was intimidating him more by the second. Him, Butch Jojo; the meanest Rowdyruff; The kid who made Mitch Mitchelson EAT HIS PARENTS! He was getting intimidated by the leader of the puffs! What made him shudder was how Blossom glared at him as she cracked her knuckles. He nearly shit his pants. Elmer then spoke again;

"You can't go too easy on her though. God forbid if she actually gets in a good punch and beats you!"

Mike spoke as well;

"Yeah; if you got beat up by a girl…everyone would think you're a faggot!"

Butch's eyes widened in shock and horror.

Butch began to look nervously at Blossom, who's glare was actually beginning to scare him.

The Bell rang and it was time for Recess. As Blossom was putting something away in her backpack, Butch approached her cautiously.

"Blossom…could I…talk to you for a second?"

Blossom scowled as she turned around to glare at him as she spoke with venom in her tone.

"What?"

Butch gulped nervously as he began to whisper;

"Blossom, I want to apologize…and um–

"_What?"_

Butch sighed as he spoke a little louder;

"I want to apologize and tell you I'm sorry for what I said. It was wrong of me, and I promise you, that it won't happen again. I don't want to fight you after school! And I'm sorry!"

Blossom scowled at him as she spoke;

"If you're _Really _sorry, then you can say it in front of everybody!"

Butch blinked as sweat began to form on his forehead;

"Actually, I was thinking we could keep this between the two of us. I was wrong to make fun of Breast Cancer, and I'm very remorsefulness."

Blossom growled as she stomped her foot in outrage;

"NO! If you're really sorry, and want to apologize to me, THEN DO IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!"

Butch blinked nervously before he scoffed and spoke;

"_Pffft, Apologize? _ That's not what I said you dumb bitch! Heheh!"

Blossom's eyes widened in rage as she spoke;

"YES YOU DID! YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND SAID YOU APOLOGIZE AND DON'T WANT TO FIGHT!"

Butch grinned cockily as he spoke

"Oh Blossom; such a desperate attempt to get out of it! These students are a little too smart to see that, you're just making excuses not to fight me!"

Blossom scowled as she spoke;

"I don't want an excuse; I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of you!"

All the color drained from Butch's face as he spoke;

"Oh…heheh, your gonna die you…lesbo!"

Blossom rolled her eyes as she began to walk away. Butch ran up next to her as he spoke

"But seriously blossom. I want to apologize and I don't think we should fight!"

But this time, Blossom scowled dangerously as she screamed out;

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

She then stomped away.

Brick was placing something in his backpack before he was approached by Princess Morebucks. She spoke;

"So, everyone is saying that there is gonna be a fight between your brother and your girlfriend."

Brick blinked before he spoke;

"I guess so."

Princess blinked before she spoke again;

"And your just gonna let him beat up on your woman? Doesn't that go against your "Tough Man Code" or something? Because I don't remember ACDC saying anything about letting dudes beat up on their girlfriends!"

Brick shrugged before he spoke;

"Well, what am I supposed to do about it?"

Boomer and Elmer then approached the conversation and added their two-sense.

"Dude don't worry about it. I don't think there's gonna be a fight! I heard from Butch that Blossom is already begging him to call it off!" Elmer said

"Yeah I think so as well!" Boomer replied;

Mike walked up to the group and spoke;

"Well I hope not! I wanna see Butch kick the crap outta her!" 

Blossom was walking outside when she heard Butch calling her behind the school. She flew behind there to speak with him again.

"What do you want now?"

Butch sighed as he spoke

"Blossom, you're not gonna believe this, but I just found out that Mojo has breast cancer. Man I sure got what was coming to me! I was a real jerk…and now there gonna cut off Mojo's boobs."

Blossom blinked before she spoke with a raised eyebrow;

"You _really_; think that's gonna work on me?"

Butch sighed as he pulled an envelope out of his pocket.

"Blossom, what I have here is 27 dollars, In cash. If you just call off the fight then I–

"You can't bribe your way out of this!"

Butch sighed before he tried again;

"Blossom, I have muscular dystrophy."

Blossom blinked before she spoke;

"No you don't."

Butch then edited his last response;

"Mojo Jojo has Muscular Dystrophy…in his Boobs."

Blossom, now fed up, spoke enraged;

"YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU ASSHOLE? THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CALL OF THIS FIGHT! I AM GOING TO WIPE THE PLAYGROUND WITH YOU INFRONT OF EVERYONE! I AM GOING TO SHOVE YOUR ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!"

Butch blinked;

"Wait…eat my underwear?"

Blossom crossed her arms as she spoke;

"That's right."

Butch sighed as he spoke;

"OK Blossom. I will eat my underwear."

Blossom blinked as he continued;

"I will eat my underwear, right here, right now!"

Blossom then spoke in annoyance;

"Jesus Christ Do you have No sense of self-respect?"

"No! Unless…you want me too! Do you want me to have self-respect than I will?"

Blossom began to massage her eyelids as she spoke;

"You fucking suck soo hard!"

Butch sighed as he began unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down.

"I'll eat my underwear Blossom. Then you can be satisfied and we can put this whole thing behind us."

Blossom blinked before she spoke;

"Wait…what are you doing?"

Butch pulled off his underwear and folded them up as he began stuffing them in his mouth.

"I am committed to peace Blossom. I want you to see how humble I am. Mmph, hmph"

He began literally eating his underwear as Blossom's eyes widened in disgust and her face paled.

"Eww!"

Butch swallowed it as he spoke;

"There. Done. Are we cool?"

Blossom, still grossed out spoke;

"NO!"

Butch's eyes widened before he spoke;

"I ATE MY UNDERWEAR! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? UGH, GUH!"

Butch started gagging and it was then that Blossom ran away, completely grossed out.

_(An hour later)_

Brick entered the boy's bathroom to wash his hands. Butch then ran in after him.

"Brick, Brick man we need to talk now!"

Brick blinked before he spoke;

"Ok?"

Butch spoke;

"Ya know, Blossom and I are supposed to fight in like 3 hours."

Brick nodded, showing that the news has gotten to him. Butch spoke again;

"Dude, aren't you worried? Blossom is a girl, she could end up getting really hurt Brick! You're my bro, and she's your bitch. I don't wanna hurt my bro's bitch!"

Brick sighed as she spoke;

"Blossom may be my girlfriend, but my hands are tied. She _really _wants to fight you."

"No she doesn't Brick. She's stuck. She knows I'm gonna kick her ass but she doesn't want to call it off because she's afraid of the other students calling her chicken."

Brick blinked. He spoke;

"Really?"

Butch nodded and spoke again;

"You know what she did Brick. She apologized and begged me not to fight her. I said, 'Well Blossom if your soo sorry then say it in front of everybody' but she wouldn't. That's how desperate she is. You have to be a fucking man and forbid her from fighting so she has a way…Urgh"

Butch began gagging as he began throwing up his underwear. Brick stared at him with a raised eyebrow as Butch spoke;

"…Huh, so that's where I put those!"

Butch placed the disgusting article of clothing behind his back as he spoke;

"Anyway Brick. She needs your help. She needs you."

Brick sighed as he spoke;

"Dude, there is nothing I can do about it."

Butch scowled as he spoke;

"DUDE YOUR SUCH A PUSSY! YOUR SUCH A PUSSY BRICK! WHEN I HURT BLOSSOM, ITS GONNA BE ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD!"

As he said "Your Fucking Head", he pointed at Brick with the hand that was holding his underwear.

Butch blinked before he sprinted out of the bathroom.

Miss Keane was assigning homework to her class. But Butch wasn't paying attention. He was staring at the clock. Only 2 minutes until 3:00. If he wanted out of this fight; he needed to think of something quickly. He began thinking of everything that was said to him today. He looked at the clock.

Only 60 seconds left.

He turned towards Blossom, who was scowling at him. Buttercup who was next to Blossom, spoke to her;

"Kick his ass Blossom!"

Butch began to panic. He thought to himself;

'_There is no way out! She's gonna kick my ass in front of everyone!'_

Butch heard one kid say something that caught his attention;

"I can't see the fight man. I have detention."

Butch's eyes widened;

'_Detention; That's it. I gotta get detention FAST!'_

The clock was a mere seconds away from hitting 3. He had to move NOW! He jumped out of his seat and sprinted over to Ms. Keane's desk. He hopped on and pulled down his pants and bent over.

Every Jaw in the classroom hit the ground as Butch took a shit on Ms. Keane's desk. Ms. Keane stopped her lesson as she took in account what the hell had just happened. She spoke;

"Butch…did you just take a crap on my desk?"

Butch quickly pulled up his pants as he crossed his arms and uncrossed them after each word.

"Watsup? Watsup? Crapped on your desk dog, Watsup with that?"

Blossom's jaw dropped the most as she thought to herself;

'_That sneaky asshole, He got detention to get out of the fight!'_

Bubbles plain out thought it was disgusting and Buttercup began giggling hysterically. Taking a shit on a teacher's desk? She'd have to remember that one!

_DETENTION_

Butch was in detention until he felt a paper ball thrown at him. He turned towards the door and saw Mike and Elmer and walked over to them. Elmer spoke;

"Butch, people are starting to say that you got detention to get out of the fight. What's up with that?"

Butch scoffed as he spoke;

"That's not why I did it."

Elmer then spoke;

"Then why'd you crap on Keane's desk?"

Butch scoffed as he spoke;

"Because I'm Hardcore! Ya know, I'm antiestablishment! That's how I roll dogs. I do hardcore stuff like that."

Mike grinned as he spoke;

"That's what I said. I told them that 'Butch aint scared of fighting Blossom. He'd do it if he could'!"

Butch grinned;

"Damn straight! I just got all punk rock and got detention. I'm just a bad dude!"

Elmer grinned as he spoke;

"That's good. Because we moved the fight to first thing in the morning tomorrow! Before school starts, everyone is gonna get there early!"

Butch's breathing practically stopped. He spoke out;

"Wait…what?"

Mike grinned as he spoke;

"Yeah, that way it won't matter if you have detention. Blossom also said she'd get here an hour early!" 

Butch was terrified. He sat down at his little desk before he heard a knock at the window. He turned and saw Blossom scowling at him. She spoke;

"Tomorrow morning. You fucking die tomorrow morning!"

She flew off with her sisters as Butch began to panic.

_(At the Utonium Household)  
_  
Blossom was upstairs in her bedroom doing her homework. Suddenly the Professor called her;

"BLOSSOM! Honey, I need to talk to you right now!"

She blinked before getting out of her chair and waking downstairs; Professor looked at her with a stern glance as he spoke;

"Blossom, have you been bullying kids at school?"

Blossom blinked before she spoke;

"No!"

Professor looked at her with a raised eyebrow as he spoke;

"Then do you want to tell me why Mojo Jojo is here with Butch." Butch was saying how you were threatening to beat him up after school."

Blossom's eyes narrowed. Sure enough, Mojo was on the couch with Butch crying into his cape. Professor spoke again;

"Did you tell this little boy that you were gonna beat him up after school?"

Blossom's eyes widened before she spoke;

"You don't understand professor. He was saying horrible things!"

Butch then spoke up;

"The thing is, I totally said I was sorry, but she still wants to beat me up!"

Professor looked at her with disappointment as he spoke;

"Blossom, I thought I taught you better than this. You don't beat up children because of what they say to you! Now Blossom, you tell this little boy that you aren't going to hurt him!"

Blossom's eyes widened before she spoke in her defense;

"But Professor, he deserves it. He's not really sorry either. Bubbles and Buttercup can come to my defense."

It was then that the blue and green puffs both raised their hands as Buttercup spoke;

"Hey, leave us out of this."

Professor looked at Blossom and he spoke;

"Now Blossom."

She sighed as she glared at Butch and spoke;

"I'm not gonna hurt you."

Professor spoke with a stern tone;

"If there is any word of you fighting at school, you are grounded. Do you understand me?"

Blossom sighed as she spoke;

"Yes sir."

Professor then began to talk with Mojo as Butch peered out from behind his father and grinned evilly at Blossom as he began giving her the middle finger. Blossom's eyes widened before they narrowed dangerously.

The next day. All the students, Butch included were waiting outside of the school. Blossom and her sisters approached and Butch grinned at her as he spoke;

"What's up Pinkie? Ya gonna fight me or not?"

Blossom scowled at him as he spoke;

"You know why I can't. You came to my house with Mojo and cried like a whiny baby bitch!"

Blossom scowled as she walked inside while cursing as Mike screamed out;

"SHE CHICKENED OUT!" 

In class, Elmer just read his report about recycling and Ms. Keane spoke;

"OK class, we have time for one more before recess. Who would like to go?"

Butch immediately raised his hand. Ms. Keane, called on him and Butch went up to the top of the class for his turn.

"Thank you. My report today is on Breast Cancer Awareness."

Blossom immediately shot her head up to pay better attention. She looked at Butch in horror. He was sticking it to her. The motherfucker was sticking it to her.

"I do not believe enough is being done. And like the victims of Breast Cancer, there is something I would like to get off my chest."

Butch tried not to grin as he was reading, Buttercup on the other hand was laughing hysterically. Blossom may be her sister, but Butch was fucking funny.

"We all must fight. And hopefully, one day, titty cancer will be a distant mammary."

The floodgates fell even further for Buttercup, who was on the floor laughing her ass off. Blossom on the other hand, spoke softly;

"You unbelievable bastard. You beat me but you won't stop."

Butch grinned as he read more of his report;

"What did the breast cancer say to the Polish monkey?"

Ms. Keane immediately stood up and spoke;

"Ok Butch that's enough you smartass!"

Blossom exited her seat as she approached Butch and spoke;

"Why?! Why are you doing this to me?! Why won't you just stop?"

She grabbed Butch by the collar of his shirt and began shaking him. Butch panicked as he spoke;

"Blossom? Blossom it was a joke calm down!"

The recess bell suddenly rang. Blossom let go of Butch as he dashed outside. Ms. Keane spoke;

"Blossom dear, may I have a word with you?"

She heard Butch's hysterical cackling outside, signaling that he heard that Ms. Keane wants a word with her. Ms. Keane shut the door before she spoke;

"Blossom, I've been hearing rumors about a fight between you and Butch Jojo."

Blossom sighed as she spoke;

"No ma'am, there isn't going to be a fight."

Ms. Keane looked surprised for a moment but spoke anyway;

"Oh no? Are you sure?"

Blossom nodded before Ms. Keane walked to the window and started speaking again;

"I've noticed all the things you've done for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Did you know I'm a breast cancer survivor?"

Blossom's eyes widened before she shook her head; Ms. Keane continued;

"I was diagnosed seven years ago. Cancer is... pure evil. It is a green rowdy lump that needs to be... destroyed. When there is a cancer, you have to "fight" it. You can't reason with cancer, you can't wish it away. Cancer doesn't play by the rules, so neither can you."

Blossom sighed as she spoke;

"Professor…said that if I fight-"

Ms. Keane interrupted her;

"And you can't listen to what anybody else tells you. You have to be willing to give up everything, because the cancer will take everything. Do you understand?"

A look of determination fell across Blossom's face as she nodded. She nodded again as the teacher continued;

"When you have cancer you fight, because it doesn't matter if you beat it or not. You refuse to let that Rowdy little lump make you feel powerless!"

Blossom nodded.

(Outside in the playground)

The kids were playing games until Bubbles ran out of the classroom;

"She's gonna fight! Blossom's gonna fight Butch right now!"

Butch rolled his eyes in disbelief before he saw Blossom walk out of the classroom. She cracked her knuckles. Butch's eyes widen before he spoke;

"Blossom, don't forget: I'll tell Mojo on you."

Blossom smirked, showing she could honestly care less. Butch's eyes widened before he spoke;

"Um, recess is almost over, I don't I don't know if there's really time."

Blossom scowled before she spoke;

"Shut up and fight."

Butch growled before both Chemical X induced children got into battle positions; Every Kid in class crowded around the duo and watched in anticipation as they both flew at each other and started kicking the shit out of each other. Butch was physically stronger then Blossom by a lot, but Blossom was smarter. And she used that to her advantage. She dove to the ground and grabbed a bunch of dirt before throwing it in Butch's eyes. He let out a yell as he tried wiping them and Blossom used that to her advantage to tackle him to the ground and wail on him. Eventually, Butch kicked her off him and then he pinned her to the ground and started punching her repeatedly. Blossom smashed her forehead into Butch's mouth, knocking out a tooth and throwing him off her. Blossom pinned him down and beat the hell out of him. Eventually, Butch didn't get up. Blossom had one. Although she began literally kicking him while he was down until Brick pulled her off him. Blossom sighed, and walked inside, all the girls following her. The boys stayed behind with Butch;

Butch climbed to his feet and wiped the blood off his face as he spoke;

"You don't have to say anything. I know how it is. I'm no longer the cool kid. Now you all think I'm a fag."

Butch doesn't cry unless he believes he gets something out of it. So he didn't shed any tears, although the boys could tell he was broken. Boomer spoke;

"Dude, we never thought you were cool."

Butch looked at his little brother with saddened eyes as he spoke;

"Not true; You're just sayin that!"

Boomer then spoke again;

"No, really, we've always thought you sucked."

Brick then scoffed as he spoke;

"Yeah Butch, nothing's changed. Our opinion of you can't possible go any lower."

Butch scoffed as he spoke;

"Shut up guys. I'm not falling for it. Leave me with a little pride why don't you."

Elmer rolled his eyes as he spoke;

"No, it's true. We've always hated you. I mean your Brother's like you obviously and for some reason Buttercup does as well but that's it."

Mike nodded in agreement as Boomer spoke;

"And let's be honest here Butch. Blossom technically cheated by throwing dirt in your eyes."

Butch's eyes widened in realization;

"Hey you're right man. She did cheat." 

(Inside)

Blossom smirked at the boys trying to cheer Butch up. Buttercup spoke;

"He's got a point though. Throwing dirt is something I would do. Also, why was Butch afraid of fighting you? That psycho loves to punch everything; I thought he'd love the opportunity."

Blossom grinned at her sister as she spoke;

"That glare I gave him during Lunch yesterday. It intimidates everybody. Well, minus Brick for some reason!"

Buttercup nodded before she started giggling as she spoke;

"Dude that breast cancer report he made up was fucking awesome."

Blossom smacked her in the back of her head.


End file.
